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- - SissyBoyPussy (Platinum + 25KSCM)
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- - Loser Chris (Silver Tier)
- - DoctorSix (Bronze Tier)
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The Complete Beginners Guide to Financial Domination - Domme Edition Vol 1
I’m no novice to the world of financial domination. I’ve been around for quite a few years and have had my fair share of mishaps, errors, embarrassments and so forth in the industry (many of which I’ll be discussing below) since everything I did was trial and error. I never had anyone to guide me or mentor me upon entering the scene. Nobody is perfect but there’s always a few factors that can help you steer clear of making the classic mistakes that most Dommes make upon making the choice to dive head first into financial domination.I decided to write this blog because one peek into my fetlife & email inbox will reveal an astounding number of messages from fellow Dommes who ask for advice. I had written a short blog in the past to help new Dommes which I even pinned as a page on my website for females navigating my site who need help and want tips but it wasn’t as thorough as I thought it would be and I still get questions every day so without further adieu, I’m going to get right to it and answer questions that up and coming ladies ask me often.
How do I get a slave?
The answer to this varies from person to person. It really comes down to your own personality and what you are/aren’t willing to deal with. Some subs require LOADS of time and if you’re looking for a quick buck without spending any time with the sub in question, you’re probably going to have a really hard time finding someone. Honesty goes a long way in this fetish and being up front about your abilities and experience is the best policy simply because if you lie about your experience and then have a session with an experienced sub, he will notice. To get a long term sub you have to build a rapport with the sub in question and learn about each other. Remember that long term D/s relationships are exactly what they sound like - a relationship. Just because money is involved does not mean that it should be meaningless.
How do I make myself approachable/desirable?
This one is completely up to you. Different strokes for different folks. Everyone has different tastes when it comes to attitude and looks. To be successful you have to come to terms with the fact that you will not be desirable to everyone and that’s okay. The best thing I can suggest is to be yourself, be honest and fill out your profiles/websites. A well written profile with good content (photos, writing) is possibly the BEST thing you can do to help market yourself. Fill out every last information block, you never know when a sub will want to approach you simply because they think you have an amazing music taste or they like your vanilla activities. Remember that your profile or website is literally the only thing a sub has to go on to form an opinion on you and in this fetish first opinions mean everything. The way you present yourself is ultimately going to be what subs think of you. If you come across as someone who doesn’t care about their profile, has awful quality photos, only makes posts complaining, etc - subs will not associate you with class and elegance which is ultimately what I believe most Goddesses strive for. This leads me to another thing, if all you do is post negatively, people will have a negative perception of you and will run for the hills if you approach them. Avoid posting about timewasters or sob stories etc - subs HATE it and so do most experienced Dommes. It stands out like a sore thumb to most experienced subs and they will steer very clear of anyone complaining.
How can I market myself?
Marketing is an extremely important factor in getting noticed in this world. There are thousands of Dommes both experienced and novice all striving for the same thing and in a niche where money is the key factor, the industry is absolutely cutthroat. When I joined the scene, I refused to get a twitter for two years and boy was that a mistake. Twitter is one of the best free marketing tools a Domme can use. Well executed tweets about both your kink AND vanilla life can reel subs in and get you loyal followers and lots of money. Hashtags are good to use in tweets but don’t overdo them - also, don’t forget to use hashtags directly in your tweet instead of after your main sentence. Everyone has their own definition of a good tweet but I’ll include an example of what I consider a good and bad ”marketing” tweet below”
The difference in the quality of those tweets is quite noticeable (and yes the second one was tweeted only for the purpose of screenshotting lol). You have to set yourself and everything you do to certain standards. If your standards are low quality, that will be the type of subs you attract. Every wonder why the “big names” in the industry always have loyal servants? That’s because they are marketing masterminds and put a lot of time and effort into what they do.
Do subs really care about good photos & graphics?
Short answer - yes for the most part. I know it’s tempting to post a cell phone selfie or a webcam snap quickly and get it over with but a light bit of editing on any photo can really make the difference between low tier and good photo. Always run your photos through a simple editor and fix any lighting problems, graininess, red eye etc. It’s a fairly simple rule to have. Quality over quantity is a good rule to remember. I personally feel that subs will appreciate one good photo with good lighting and a good pose over 10 photos with awful lighting and the same pose slightly altered. Filters are great tools too but don’t overdo them, as with everything, balance is key. Find the balance to create what you think is an awesome quality photo and hold yourself to those standards every time. As for graphics, I’m aware that there’s plenty of people who don’t know how to use photoshop or can’t afford to pay someone to create graphics. That’s not an excuse - if you want a quality website with quality graphics, instead of bashing the Dommes who have them out of jealousy, LEARN. Teach yourself to create these things and it will truly help you as far as marketing goes.
Can I still appeal to subs without too many photos or graphics?
Yes, ultimately it comes down to your expertise as a Dominant and the attitude you have. The things I’ve stated in the last couple answers to questions are all really filler. Many subs look for those things straight off the bat and if you want to appeal to as many subs as possible, marketing and tons of content is definitely the way to go but you don’t have to have all those things to still be successful. There’s subs who can look past the lack of fancy graphics or loads of content and still see the Goddess for who she is - granted, in all honesty those subs are far fewer among the crowds but they ARE there. It goes without saying that you should STILL have a thorough profile to attract subs, if you only have a paragraph in your about me, you’re only going to attract low quality subs.
How do I come up with content?
How do painters create paintings? How do writers create stories? This is a pretty self explanatory question. You have to come up with content on your own out of your own imagination. Nobody will hold your hand and create your content for you. A good place to start is with the standard industry content ideas ex: foot photos, videos, some findom games, etc. When it comes to tasks, it gets trickier. Creating original tasks is actually a pretty big challenge. Brainstorming is great though. What I do is I have a notepad document open all day 24/7. If I have a sudden idea for a task, game or clip I INSTANTLY write it down and save the document just in case my computer were to crash. At the end of the week I have hundreds (I’m not kidding) of ideas on the notepad document and I choose one or two to carry out and elaborate on for a task or clip etc. From there on, the document only gets larger and larger. That’s the way I do it but everyone has their own creative ideas. Your best bet is to give yourself a weekly goal and stick to it.
What about payment? How can I receive money?
There’s an endless amount of ways to receive money. This should never be a problem for anyone. Some payment processors WILL let the sub know some details such as your name/address etc and it’s entirely up to you what you are or aren’t comfortable with sharing with your subs. I’ll include a list of payment processors I have used below.
E Giftcards - for the most part anonymous. A pretty simple way to receive payment if you don’t require ACTUAL money and are happy with store credit etc.
Paypal - does not allow adult transactions. Use only with subs you trust 100 percent. Your details will be shared with subs unless you have a business account that is set up to show your business name instead of your real details.
Greendot moneypak- Anoynmous. Subs can buy a reload at most US gas stations and stores such as walmart and send you the code. You input the code into your personal paypal account and the funds are instantly deposited in your account.
Venmo - Venmo has the possibility of showing your information of you’re not careful with your profile settings. Remember not to link it to any of your personal accounts or use your real name and you should be good. That being said, I LOVE venmo because sending money on Venmo is completely free as long as you use a bank account, supported debit card, or Venmo balance to fund your payments. If you choose to use a credit card, there is a 3% fee which is still pretty low and it has an awesome phone app which is super simple to use.
Niteflirt - standard processor for adult industry that takes 30% Ideally not the best to use for large tributes due to the fact that it will take a large chunk.
Clips4sale, Kinkbomb, Iwantclips & clipvia - Another industry standard way to tribute. Depending on the one you choose, can take anywhere from 10-40% of your tribute but 100% safe and anonymous.
Giftrocket - Pretty safe as long as your sub does not include a kinky message along with the payment. I find that it’s easiest to make an email that sounds vanilla SPECIFICALLY for giftrocket and have a sub send a vanilla sounding message along with the payment. One of my favorite ways to receive payment because you can deposit it directly into your paypal or choose to use it for a number of giftcards to local spas, stores restaurants etc. Can take up to 5 days to process payment so that’s a bit of a drag sometimes. NOT good as a way to receive payment for instant sessions etc because funds can be withdrawn during that 5 day processing time if a sub chooses to.
I want to mimmick/copy a Domme I look up to?
Stop right there. Stop before you even think about doing it again. If you decide to copy someone chances are they WILL notice. It doesn’t matter if you change a word or two every other sentence. People who put time and care into their sites and profiles probably remember every word they’ve written and will spot a plagiarizer before you even realize they know. Stealing content is a HUGE issue in the scene and I’ve been in the scene long enough to unfortunately say that I’ve witnessed it far too many times. If you decide to steal graphics from someone or plagiarize their hard work it will be seen as a HUGE black mark on your career as a professional if that’s what you’re ultimately going for. Just don’t do it. If you decide you still want to do it, expect DMCA takedowns and public ridicule and know that everyone will agree that you deserve it. Originality is a necessity in this fetish and industry - if it’s something you lack, you are probably better suited doing something else with your time.
An owned sub messaged me, what do I do?
Ignore them. It doesn’t matter if they are offering you over $9000! Just ignore the sub and be respectful to what is someone else’s property. If the sub is slutting around, that’s entirely on him - don’t enable him. Something I personally do is message the owner if I know who she is. Respectfully let the owner know what is going on because they deserve to know that their sub is not being respectful to them. Screenshots and a respectful message letting the Domme know go a long way and will show the Domme that you are trustworthy and have excellent integrity.
Why do all my subs fail me?
The answer to this can be many things - some of which can be YOUR fault. Are you instantly collaring subs who want to be owned? Are you even putting them through a consideration period? Consideration periods vary by Domme to Domme but I find that just as it would be in an intimate relationship, time itself ultimately shows you who you are dealing with. You can’t figure out who someone truly is by having them send you a $100 giftcard every week for 4 weeks. The consideration period is EXTREMELY important for anyone wanting to have a long term D/s relationship and by standard practice, subs can be in a consideration period from anywhere from 6 months to YEARS. The best analogy I can think of is of a romantic relationship - think of the consideration period as the time you’re dating the person before you both agree that it’s time to get married. That’s how I think of it and it works very well for me.If you’re properly going through the consideration/collaring process and your subs are still failing you, maybe you have unrealistic expectations of them. If a sub made it through consideration, he obviously is a good sub and up to your standards but if he’s failing you after collaring, perhaps you’re being too hard on him which is VERY easy to do in this fetish. Greed is good for the most part but you have to remember that feeding your greed comes at a big expense to your subs wallet and unless your sub is the owner of a fortune 500 company and making millions left and right, you’re probably being TOO greedy. Set out a budget for your sub, micromanage. Set schedules, for payments, for tasks and remember that not EVERYTHING is about money in your D/s relationship and if it is, it probably won’t last.
I see Dommes publicly calling subs losers/worthless, why doesn’t it work when I do it?
That’s probably because they know or own the sub already and it’s something that’s within their dynamic. You have to remember that a lot of things in the industry are smoke and mirrors type things. Maybe the Domme and sub have a mutual understanding to where the sub gets off on public humiliation, likes to be called worthless loser etc but in private it’s completely different. Dommes roleplay with their subs publicly a lot and that’s not a bad thing. Remember if it’s safe sane and consensual there is NO problem with it - just remember that things aren’t always as they seem with people and their public relationships.
Will I look self centered if I post pictures of my tributes?
This fetish is ALL ABOUT self centered hedonists. For fuck’s sake we call ourselves Goddess, Princess, Queen etc. I highly doubt that everyone who calls themselves a Goddess is living up in the sky with omnipotent & omniscient powers. I highly doubt every princess or queen in the scene actually lives in a castle and rules their own kingdom. :p There’s nothing wrong in gloating and showing off the fruits of you and your sub’s effort. Anyone who says otherwise is probably unhappy with the fruits of their efforts and looking to shoot you down. People that are comfortable with themselves and what they do will be happy that other Dommes are being successful and in my personal opinion and experience, subs love to see their gifts posted and they love it even more if you remember who gifted you what. Just remember to do you.
How can I take quality photos/videos?
There’s a formula to good photos and videos that consists of various things.
Lighting is IMPORTANT, bad lighting can make an otherwise great photo AWFUL. If you can, buying a studio lighting kit on amazon is definitely recommended and they’re usually pretty cheap and yield great results. I’ve seen full professional lighting kits on there as low as $80 which I think is pretty within budget for most people. If you’re on a budget, maybe skip the mani/pedi one week and just buy the lighting kit instead.
Setting is another thing that can completely make or break a good photo or video. Nobody wants to see a photo of you looking beautiful but a dirty mattress without sheets in the background or a complete mess with clothes and trash on the floor etc. I think most of us have been guilty of something that can fit in this category at some point or another, I’m no stranger to this myself. I’ve taken many a photo with my laundry in the background in the past etc. It’s fairly simple, shoot your photos against a professional backdrop set (usually not more than $200 on amazon), against a plain wall, or get a shoji screen panel divider (usually around $150) - trust me it will help the quality of your photo/video settings immensely.
As far as cameras go, most smartphones nowadays have GREAT quality settings. I have the samsung galaxy note 3 and the photos & videos are extremely HD and super good quality. You don’t need to own a fancy camera to yield great results if you have good lighting and background. That being said, in my opinion one should always strive for the best quality they can and if your subs can afford it, I recommend you have them buy you a professional camera. I recently got a Canon t3i with the standard 55 mm lens and was extremely pleased. I also received an additional EF 50mm f/1.8 II lens ($125) which creates depth and awesome focus in videos/photos which I highly recommend to anyone looking for a good lens. It’s a little pricey but definitely worth it.
Is networking & making friends really that important?
100% yes if you plan on ever attempting conventions, doing interviews, being included in projects. In this scene as far as networking goes, you have to give some to take some. Making friends and networking might open certain doors that otherwise may stay firmly shut. This goes for both networking with Dommes AND subs. For example, there’s a few owned subs that have tributed me before they even met their Domme and we decided to remain friends once they were put under consideration/collared by other Dommes. They speak of our friendship to their Domme which in turn, opens doors to someday filming with their Dommes which will appeal to those looking for double Domme experiences and benefit both of us. The possibilities are quite literally endless.
How can I network/make friends?
There’s plenty of ways to make friends in the scene people are for the most part very friendly and open to talking. Joining forums and groups and actively participating in them is a great start. Twitter is another great way to make friends. Follow the people who follow you back, reply to people’s tweets. Be active in findom chats a few time a week and you’ll make friends in no time.
That’s all for now but I hope this blog will help some of the newer Dommes and I’ll be pinning this to the Domme help page on my website! Remember to follow me on twitter @MissJezebel_
Til next time
Luxury Vegas Vacation - July 2014
So as many of you all know, I recently got back from an amazing mini vacation in fabulous Las Vegas (and I’ll be returning again next month). I go to Vegas and stay on the strip at least once a year simply to indulge my luxurious tastes. One of my favorite hotels is the Mandalay Bay - It’s simply FANTASTIC! The rooms are beautiful, the hotel itself is luxurious as can be and the staff is always friendly so I figured I’d give it’ sister hotel a try this time. The hotel I stayed in is called “THEHotel” and it is attached to the Mandalay Bay. It’s more luxury oriented so naturally I was all over that! Here’s a little video of check in day and just HOW awesome the suite my sister and I stayed in was.
I had a pretty relaxed first day that was spent lounging around in my suite and just generally checking out the hotel and a bit of gambling - after all, gambling IS one of the best things to do while in vegas and hey, complimentary drinks all around but of course I tip and tip well, cocktail waitresses LOVE me.
The second day of my vacation was a bit more ”upbeat”. I woke up and went downstairs to the Buffet Mandalay which was INCREDIBLE. They had pretty much anything you could think of there. I was absolutely STUFFED by the time I left and figured some light shopping might help the food settle so my sister and I hit the boutiques and shops in between the Mandalay and the Luxor. $600 later we figured it was time for a swim (Photos of my shopping will be included in my next brag blog)! She went directly to the Mandalay’s wave pool while I decided to go to the Moorea Beach Club for a bit. The male/female ratio was WAY off and there were plenty of wankers in there but it didn’t stop me from having a good time. Overall, my day was tiring but I still managed to stay perfectly fabulous in the sunlight with my Chanel glasses!
Third day I awoke with ONE goal in mind. I was going to visit one of the two spas on site. Having heard great things about both of them, I decided to visit the ”less crowded” one. Apparently people don’t visit it as much due to the darker ambiance and sleek design - something that I’m a complete sucker for. All in all, I’m extremely glad I made the decision to go to the Bathhouse because the experience was absolutely AMAZING and 100% worth their steep prices (which I didn’t have to pay for anyways). Had it been for me, I would have stayed at the bathhouse ALL damn day but alas, I had people to do and things to see - or was it the other way around? I don’t know anymore haha!
After a quick meal at the House of Blues, I decided I felt up to watch a Vegas show and I decided to go with Criss Angel’s BeLIEve which was an EXCELLENT choice if I do say so myself - definitely worth the price and I recommend it to anyone who is visiting Las Vegas and wants to see a great show!
My 4th and final day in Vegas was a very relaxed one. After using the pool for a few hours I checked out and browsed around the shops on the strip for a while before deciding it was time to grab a bite to eat and head back home. We chose the buffet at Green Valley Ranch Resort which was no longer on the strip and close to our route back home. Needless to say the food was incredible. I wanted to stay forever and I won $380 on a quick $1 gamble which was awesome!
Vegas is my home away from home and I’m always super excited to go! I can’t wait til next month to go back to one of my favorite cities in the US! In the meantime you can contribute to my spending and vacation funds by visiting the tribute section on my website: http://missjezebel.com/tribute and by following me on twitter: @MissJezebel_
Til next time!
Miss Jezebel’s Update & Financial Exploits For The Month of June
This last month has been very hectic for me. I was faced with some very troubling issues regarding someone I deeply care for, I was in a good friend’s wedding and I did some pretty heavy remodeling of my home. Everything falling on me at once pretty much drove me crazy to the point of complete and utter exhaustion a few times. Thankfully, like always, my boys reduced my workload by a significant amount and tried to make my hectic month as smooth as possible. My realtime maid/cuck boy DoctorSix has proven himself over and over again but this month he shined through more than ever. After three huge parties that subsequently left my home trashed, he showed up without having to be asked to do a large majority of the housework - this was very admirable since he currently is a single father juggling 2 jobs, school and ALWAYS being on time to complete all the assignments I give him. I don’t do shout outs often but when I do, it’s because the boy in question has earned it.
That being said, some of the remodeling that I did for my home included getting SynLawn installed. I live in one of the hottest cities in the continental US and maintaining green grass in a city where the temperature reaches 125 degrees during the summer is not very cost effective and it’s very time consuming. Crapcreep took care of footing the bill for BOTH the SynLawn in my front yard and the installation. My back yard on the other hand is a work in progress. I still have real grass in the back yard but I am planning on switching over to SynLawn there as well. This month I had some heavy remodeling done to the back yard. The side of my yard where I keep my large dogs during backyard parties had a beautiful black fence installed, my outdoor kitchen/grill area was finished and construction of my waterfall FINALLY began.
I received a gopro with the works a month or two ago and had forgot to post a photo so I had to hunt around the house to find all the pieces but I believe I got them all. I have yet to use my gopro much but the few times I’ve used it I’ve been thoroughly impressed and definitely recommend it to anyone looking for wearable/attachable cameras. I attached mine to my goped and went riding around the block a few times and the quality of the video was superb. Another tribute that I was ridiculously happy about was the complete season of Boy Meets World - it’s just one of those things that brings back my childhood. DEFINITELY nostalgic as hell.
I recieved a Michael Kors clutch wallet AND a matching purse along with a Michael Kors black patent signature logo chain strap bucket bag which has quickly become my FAVORITE purse of all time. My RT boy recently took a trip to vegas with some friends and while he was there he thought of me when he visited the Vegas Premium Outlet Center which OF COURSE has a Coach store. A couple hundred dollars later, I was a very happy gal with a beautiful new Coach bag;.
Now, it is common knowledge that my greed feeds into my obsession for perfumes and I’m constantly receiving new perfumes as I go through old ones. This month was no different than usual and I received PLENTY of new perfumes which I INSTANTLY open and try on. My ever growing perfume collection is getting kind of out of hand - I’m sure that it’ll be time for a new perfume collection update video soon. For those of you that haven’t seen my perfume collection video, I’ll include it below.
Just like my perfume collection, my shoe collection is constantly growing and changing. Every few months I gather the shoes that I don’t really wear much and give them away to my friends/family and make space for new ones. Believe it or not, I’m a flip flop girl. I have plenty of heels and flats but my ABSOLUTE favorite go to is flip flops. I guess that’s just part of living in Arizona though. This month I bought some beautiful gold Michael Kors bridge heel sandals that Rez INSTANTLY reimbursed me for. They look absolutely stunning on me - I’ll make sure to post some photos of me wearing them in the coming weeks. Among some of the other things purchased were a few pairs of cute Coach flip flops and some kickass Demonia boots (which were actually purchased for me a month or two ago but I forgot to post them lol)
I recently stumbled across a lovely little shop downtown with all the most BEAUTIFUL things. Their selection of jewelry was amazing and I just had to have these pieces. The first necklace coming in at a whopping $130 was handmade from iron and copper. It’s extremely exotic and right down my alley. The next two necklaces were imported from Hawaii and are made from exotic seeds and mother of pearl. They’re very chunky necklaces and while they’re not the style I would usually wear, they’re definitely apt for summer wear so I’m going to give them a shot. My FAVORITE tribute of this month (and possibly of this whole year so far) though had to have been the beautiful SOLID GOLD Nefertiti necklace and earring set DoctorSix brought back for me from Vegas. This tribute is especially meaningful to me because I’m a huge fan of Egyptian culture and history. I had mentioned to him LAST YEAR in December that there was a beautiful solid gold Nefertiti necklace and earring set at the Luxor’s gift shop that I really wanted and lo and behold, they still had it and he happily dropped BIG money on it for me ($2,300). That aside, the amount of jewelry I bought and received this month was close to obscene. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to get around to wearing all of this for a long time lol!
My cousins birthday was this month and I figured I would get her a nice little coach iphone case which she absolutely loved - and I didn’t have to spend a dime! I don’t know if most of you losers knew but I actually wear prescription glasses, I’m actually as blind as a bat without them and I got 5 new frames - four of which are pictured above! My favorites are the D&G ones - they’re small, feminine and dare I say straight up SEXY on me. Among other things, I did plenty of shopping at Dillards for a bunch of sexy dresses and tops. I’m SUPER excited to wear the white and black lace bodycon one out! I’m going to look STUNNING in it.
I’ve been wanting a LoveSac brand bean bag for AGES and Pukebox finally stepped up and bought one for me. To be honest It feels nice but for the price I’m not sure it was worth it. Either way I’ll be keeping it for my filming studio - I’m sure it’ll come in handy when I start filming a new set of clips.
I went back to that cute little vintage shop downtown a few times this month and the last time I went, the moment I stepped in I INSTANTLY fell in love with the first thing that caught my eye. It was an adorable little pink blazer and of course - go figure it was Juicy Couture brand. I absolutely love all things juicy and happily shelled out the $65 for it even though it’s currently too hot in my city to even wear it. Oh well - but hey, Winter is coming (in like 5 months lol).
Lastly, among all the amazing stuff I bought and recieved - like always there were giftcards galore. Plenty of amazon gc’s and a couple others which I don’t get often enough. I had been neglecting my Vapor Couture account but thankfully I bought $250 worth of VC cartridges for my luxury ecigarettes!
That’s all you get for now you cheapasses - tribute and tithe to see your hard earned cash featured in next months blog!blog comments powered by Disqus
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